Originally posted on February 14th 2012
It’s very weird how moods can go from one extreme to the other.
It’s been a weird day; I spent it sick (from before) and hungover (it didn’t help) after a nice night out in unusual circumstances.
I have been working a lot, and it’s a very interesting time for me but everything seems to be just out of sync. I actually have a week off college and that feels nice, if only for me to realize that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. With school out of the way I can concentrate on more fun work and it could easy fill up one’s schedule. I am kind of doing two things at once. But I am in a privileged position.
Working with OSP while still studying is great but contradictory; I am there to continue on the awareness, acting and questioning of tools but I am technically still learning about the actual fields they serve. It’s healthy and confusing.
I recently lost some one dear to me. For reasons that weren’t reasons, but my grid based mind somehow found a way to make sense of it. So I had to accept it. Maybe too easily. The pain is only hitting properly now. And I hate to admit it but today being the popular day it is and all, does not help.
Some of my closest friends are a mess at the moment, and are past admitting it, but not past doing something about it. So I get complaints. Just complaints.
The systems I have to play in are really pissing me off at the moment, I must say that lots of the items and things I am ‘made to deal with’ are compiling and making for a ticking time bom. It’s going to blow, trust me. I’m going to crack. Probably sooner rather than later.
Yet I power on and do what I can. Spent the day interviewing people for a video project. Very enjoyable, but lots of pressure. And unhealthy amounts of concentration required. Especially on a day like today.
Then I traveled home to find a friend in the middle of a break-up, then a drunk falling over and damaging his skull pretty seriously. Blood is not cool. Waiting for an ambulance is terrifying. Then coming home to an empty flat. Frozen pizza and the internet to comfort me.
I need some sleep I think.
It’s been a strange day.